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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Seen just now on Slack:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Shared recently on Threads:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Live now on YouTube:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Just landed via Slack:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Live now on Telegram:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Making waves on X:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Funny catch up quotes

Funny catch up quotes are the perfect way to turn those long-overdue chats into laughter-filled moments 😂✨ Whether you’re reconnecting after ages or just keeping the banter alive, these witty gems add sparkle to your conversations 🗨️💬 Get ready to share smiles, giggles, and maybe a few “remember when” moments that make catching up feel like a joyful reunion every time! 🎉😄

New funny catch up quotes 👇

All funny catch up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Twitch this month:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

18 shares on Telegram this month:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,228

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Spotted on Instagram:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Live now on TikTok:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Making waves on Threads:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

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