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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Live now on Twitch:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Going bananas on Instagram:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

196 Funny comfort quotes

Funny comfort quotes show that feeling cozy and relaxed can come with a hilarious twist! 😄🛋️ Whether it’s the joy of wearing pajamas all day, turning snacks into a coping strategy, or declaring your bed your soulmate, these quotes remind us that comfort isn’t just a feeling — it’s a lifestyle worth laughing about. 😂🍕🧸

New funny comfort quotes 👇

For even more funny comfort quotes, hit next 👇

All funny comfort quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

78 shares on X this month:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

16 shares on Discord this month:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

88 shares on X this month:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Breaking via Slack:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Live now on TikTok:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Spotted on Facebook:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Just landed via Twitch:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Making waves on TikTok:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Trending via Instagram:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Just landed via Discord:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

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