Funny quotes comfort

100 Funny comfort quotes

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Funny Quotes Mar 29, 2025

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Funny Quotes Feb 24, 2025

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Funny Quotes Feb 19, 2025

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Funny Quotes Feb 17, 2025

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Funny Quotes Feb 14, 2025

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Funny Quotes Feb 13, 2025

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025