53 Funny competition quotes

• Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

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  1 week ago

  competition, girlfriend, humor, listener, maybe, music, next, relationship, should, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, top, try, wrapped, year

• A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

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  4 weeks ago

  better, competition, cycling, cyclist, faster, humor, i, me, run, shark, speed, swim, triathlon

• Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

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  4 weeks ago

  ahead, back, competition, dad, driving, family, family trip, hard, hate, hour, humor, last, pass, passing, road, road trip, stopping, trip, vehicle

• I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

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  1 month ago

  board, board game, competition, game, humor, i, Monopoly, personality, play, someone, transformation

• If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

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  1 month ago

  competition, humor, inspiration, lose, mindset, motivation, only, person, self, yourself

• There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

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  1 month ago

  athlete, athletes, competition, drug, drugs, hell, high, human, humans, humor, jump, Olympics, performance enhancing drug, performance-enhancing, satire, should, sports, take, want, where

• I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

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  1 month ago

  allowed, boxing, competition, face, face punch, humor, i, joke, me, moment, opponent, punch, quit, quitting, sarcastic, sports, too

• Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

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  1 month ago

  breathing, breathing competition, call, communication, competition, humor, interaction, me, number, numbers, patience, phone, phone call, sarcasm, social, social interaction, talk, unknown, unknown number, waiting, welcome

• My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

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  1 month ago

  AI, beautiful, beauty, being, competition, computer, contest, crafting, creativity, cry, dream, emotion, humor, i, story, writing, writing contest

• Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

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  1 month ago

  cleaning, competition, entertainment, fight, gadget, home, humor, i, new, novelty, old, robot, Roomba

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