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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Just shared via Telegram:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Just landed via Threads:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Just shared via X:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Seen just now on Telegram:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

56 Funny competition quotes

Funny competition quotes 🤣 are the secret weapon to lighten the intense atmosphere of any rivalry! Whether you’re battling it out on the field ⚽, in the office 🏢, or during a friendly game night 🎲, these humorous gems can bring a smile to even the fiercest competitor’s face. Dive into the world of wit and charm, where the spirit of competition meets laughter, and discover how humor can be your ultimate game-changer! 🎉💪

New funny competition quotes 👇

For even more funny competition quotes, hit next 👇

All funny competition quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Threads this month:

For the record, I use a turntable.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

58 shares on Slack this month:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

40 shares on Messenger this month:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Trending via Threads:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Shared recently on Slack:

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Spotted on Discord:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Making waves on WeChat:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Going bananas on X:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Going viral on X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

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