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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Just shared via X:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Spotted on Twitch:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Just landed via Twitch:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Just shared via Instagram:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Just shared via Instagram:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Funny congregation quotes

New funny congregation quotes 👇

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

0

2 months ago

apology, church, congregation, funny situation, humor, i, missionary, misunderstanding, situation, volunteers

Someone from 🇸🇱 has recently bookmarked this quote.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny congregation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

40 shares on X this month:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

67 shares on YouTube this month:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Making waves on WeChat:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny congregation quotes

New funny congregation quotes 👇

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

All funny congregation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨