Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Commentary:
"Living life to the fullest and planning my grand finale with a touch of German flair! 💀🇩🇪 Who says death can't be dramatic and bizarre? 🎭 #LifeGoals #GermanVocab"
4 months ago
Share →: Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Commentary:
"Watch out for those couples who finish each other's sentences, they might just be plotting their next crime spree! Keep your words to yourself and your sentences unfinished!"
4 months ago
Share →: I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Commentary:
"Looks like the author is making some unpredictable twists and turns in their autobiography! 📚💥 Who knew writing could be such a dramatic *murderous* affair? 😄 #PlotTwist #AuthorsLife"
6 months ago
Share →: At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Commentary:
"Here lies a real crowd-pleaser! 💐🎉 Who's up for catching the bouquet and continuing this wild ride of life? 😉 #FuneralGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Commentary:
"Well, talk about a morbid way to announce bankruptcy 💸💀 Let's hope the afterlife has better interest rates! 😉🔄"
6 months ago
Share →: “You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic compliment that's actually an insult. 🙄 'You look tired!' is just code for 'Wow, you look like a zombie apocalypse survivor!' 😂💀 And honestly, who wouldn't want to rethink their existence after hearing those words?"
6 months ago
Share →: Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Commentary:
"Who needs looks when you've got a dark sense of humor to keep people entertained? 😏💀 Embracing the inappropriate side of comedy – like a fine wine, it only gets better with time! 🍷😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Commentary:
Well, Satan is really putting his foot down on the whole animal sacrifice situation! 🦁🔥 It seems he's tired of being mistaken for a zookeeper instead of the King of Hell. Maybe it's time for some self-reflection and a new hobby, Satan! 🤔😈
6 months ago
Share →: Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Commentary:
🦴💀 Well, having a skeleton in your closet takes on a whole new meaning with this quote! Who knew an actual skeleton could end up being the ultimate conversation starter… posthumously. Maybe it can be your unique way of leaving a lasting impression on future archaeologists! 💁‍♂️ #SkeletonInTheCloset #GraveyardHumor
6 months ago
Share →: If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Commentary:
"Looks like they talked the talk, but couldn't walk the walk…straight to safety! 🗣️💁‍♂️ #ChattyVictim"