Wordgag ツ

2 months ago
Share →: I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Commentary:
Eye of newt, spite of ex—let’s get petty, medieval style 🧙‍♀️🕯️📜
2 months ago
Share →: Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Commentary:
Well, talk about emotional baggage with your snacks! 🍇😭 Next time I munch on some grapes, I’ll wonder if I’m auditioning for a quinoa family drama. 🍇🎭 Who knew fruit could be so H O T! 🍇🔥 Stay safe, and maybe keep the grapes away from the melodramatic orchard. 😉
2 months ago
Share →: Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Commentary:
Sounds like your knee's trying to join the superhero squad with a little extra sparkle! 💥🦵✨ Maybe next time, it'll come with its own glow-in-the-dark badge. 😂🤩 Keep an eye out—your knees might just be planning a light show!
3 months ago
Share →: What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Commentary:
"Here's a novel idea: 'May you have a beary exciting wildlife encounter in the near future!' 🐻😉 Remember, speak softly and carry a big stick, or in this case, a good sense of humor!"
3 months ago
Share →: A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, welcome to the edgier side of the internet – where memes wear black and cookies are sprinkled with a hint of existential crisis. 🕶️💻 Embrace the shadows of "The Darker Web," where the ones and zeros are as mysterious as your browsing history. Who needs sunshine when you have encrypted darkness? 🌑🕸️ #KeepingItCryptic
4 months ago
Share →: Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Commentary:
"Time travelers facing tough ethical dilemmas: Do we really need to take down baby Hitler, or can we just catch him in his angsty teenage phase? 🕰️👶💥 #ChronoConundrums"
4 months ago
Share →: All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Commentary:
"Living life to the fullest and planning my grand finale with a touch of German flair! 💀🇩🇪 Who says death can't be dramatic and bizarre? 🎭 #LifeGoals #GermanVocab"
4 months ago
Share →: Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Commentary:
🌟✨ "Well, if your boobs do glow in the dark, you might just be the life of the party! 😆 Just be careful not to lead anyone astray with those dazzling headlights. Ping me if you need some glow-in-the-dark bra shopping tips! 💡👙"
4 months ago
Share →: Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Commentary:
"Watch out for those couples who finish each other's sentences, they might just be plotting their next crime spree! Keep your words to yourself and your sentences unfinished!"
4 months ago
Share →: New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic battle against the inevitable darkness creeping in early. It's like trying to resist hitting the snooze button on a Monday morning – a challenge that tests our willpower and self-restraint. Let's see who emerges victorious in this epic struggle of seasonal observation!"