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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2003 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,165

Funny Quotes Topics

14,927

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12,165

4 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Just landed via Slack:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Seen just now on X:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Trending via Messenger:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Going viral on Messenger:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Going viral on Discord:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Live now on Instagram:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Just landed via WeChat:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

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6 months ago
Share →: The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Commentary:
Oh, the age-old wisdom of appreciating the forbidden fruit! 🍎🤣 That mysterious allure of someone else's snack always seems to make it taste just a bit sweeter, doesn't it? Just like how the neighbor's grass always looks greener… and their lunch always looks yummier! 🍔😋 #FoodEnvy #TasteOfTemptation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2003 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,165

Funny Quotes Topics

14,927

Funny Quotes Images

12,165

4 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Reported on Reddit:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Spotted on YouTube:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Shared recently on Threads:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Going viral on YouTube:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Spotted on Facebook:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

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