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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Trending via WeChat:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Trending via Slack:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Reported on Telegram:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Going viral on YouTube:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Spotted on Facebook:

Is this art or trash?

Going viral on Telegram:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Reported on Twitch:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Live now on Slack:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Just shared via Instagram:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Trending via Slack:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Live now on Threads:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

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