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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Going viral on Discord:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Trending via Snapchat:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Funny divine light quotes

New funny divine light quotes 👇

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

1 month ago

bill, divine, divine light, electricity, end, expenses, humor, i, joke, light, me, sunlight, think, tunnel

All funny divine light quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

84 shares on X this month:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Live now on Threads:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Trending via Telegram:

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

Breaking via Twitch:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Spotted on Facebook:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Freshly posted on Slack:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny divine light quotes

New funny divine light quotes 👇

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

All funny divine light quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨