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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Just landed via Telegram:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Spotted on Telegram:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Going viral on Facebook:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Trending via YouTube:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Spotted on Telegram:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Shared recently on Discord:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Breaking via Reddit:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Going viral on Telegram:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

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