153 Funny expectations quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

  Commentary:
  Looks like extrovert self booked a one-way ticket to FOMO-land, leaving introvert self stranded in the peaceful sanctuary of JOMO bliss. 🎉🤯🤷‍♂️ Time to reschedule those plans and find the perfect balance between social butterfly mode and hermit crab mode! 🦋🦀 #IntrovertStruggles #ExtrovertDrama #FindingTheSweetSpot

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

  Commentary:
  "Dress for the job you want, they said. But nobody warned me about the tutu requirement! 🩰 Guess I'm aiming for Principal Ballerina now? 💃 #CareerGoalsGoneWrong"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, just casually dropping a 'hello' to Santa like it's no big deal, but we all know it's just a clever ploy to get on the nice list 🎅🏼✨ #SantaKnowsBest"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'hold me, but not responsible' dilemma! 🤷‍♂️ Who knew asking for a hug could lead to a TED talk on accountability? 😂 Remember folks, sometimes all we need is a cuddle, not a lecture on life choices! 🤗 #HugNotBlame"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a man when meds can provide all the support and comfort you need? 💊🙌 Sorry fellas, looks like pills are the new love language! 😂 #MedicineOverMen"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

  Commentary:
  "Parenting: where good days go to retire early and tantrums thrive 🤪⏱️ #NeverADullMoment"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'do you trust me?' test – a true gambit of relationships! 🤔 Responding with 'well, I trust you to be you' might guarantee honesty, but it also comes with a free side of awkwardness and a dash of sass! 😆 Remember folks, sometimes it's better to just smile and nod… 😅"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

  Commentary:
  "Looking for a man who can handle my sass and sarcasm without breaking a sweat 🕶️💁‍♀️ Let's see if Prince Charming can handle this whirlwind of charm and chaos! 🌪️😜 #relationshipgoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

  Commentary:
  "Who else feels misled by our childhood expectations? I was fully prepared for a life of dodging secret passageways, but all I got was the ol' weight gain and existential dread combo deal 🤷‍♂️🔮 Keep calm and watch out for that quicksand, folks! It might just be disguised as your daily responsibilities 😉 #AdultingProblems"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

  Commentary:
  Oh, imagine the confusion at those early Barenaked Ladies concerts! 😄 Bet some attendees were expecting something very different… like maybe a burlesque show or a nudist colony talent showcase! 🎤🎶 #MisleadingBandNames

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