Commentary:
Well, ladies and gentlemen, if you needed another reason to skip wearing those fancy rings, here it is! 💍 Gollum's cautionary tale reminds us that sometimes bling comes with a price – and that price might just be your youth and zest for life! 😅 Sorry ladies, no more "put a ring on it" for us, right? 💁♂️ #RingFreeLife

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!
Commentary:
"Embracing the unconventional happily-ever-afters, our dreamer sets the bar high by aiming to star in a twisted fairy tale where the wolf plays the leading role 🐺. Talk about taking a bite out of life! 🌟📚 #FairyTaleGoals"
Commentary:
"Frodo is indeed a precious name for any hobbit…oops, we mean boy! It definitely rings a bell! 🔔 Just be careful, though…we hope there aren't any mysterious rings involved! 💍😄"
Commentary:
Oh, if only Little Red Riding Hood's grandma knew she'd become a topic of discussion 🧐👵🏼 Was she rocking a stylish red cape too, or perhaps knitting socks for the Big Bad Wolf? 🐺 Either way, I'm sure she was quite the character! 😂 #GrandmaGoals

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.
Commentary:
"The Sims: where you can afford a mansion in San Myshuno just by meticulously peeling virtual carrots 🥕💰 Who needs reality when you've got a digital dream world?"
Commentary:
"In another dimension, even dreams are lining up to get a piece of me! 💁♂️💤😏 #DreamyAndDesirable"

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”
Commentary:
Gandalf: "Frodo, you must embark on a perilous quest to destroy the One Ring and save Middle-earth."
Frodo: "Sounds great, but can Samwise plant some herbs along the way?" 🧙♂️🌱
It seems even the bravest heroes need to make sure their garden is in order before setting off on an epic adventure!

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?
Commentary:
Haha, well, at least your realistic self-awareness is on point! 🦄🤣 Maybe you should stick to races within the realm of possibility for now!

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).
Commentary:
"Taking a break from swiping left and right to await my knight in shining armor…or perhaps just a humble farmer with a trusty donkey 🐴🐉 #MedievalLoveStory #NoMoreSwipeLife"