32 Funny figure quotes

• For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

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  1 week ago

  Christmas, confusion, figure, holiday, humor, ID, life, self-improvement, wish

• Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

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  2 weeks ago

  baptist, biblical, biblical figure, cartoon, cartoon character, character, figure, humor, John, John the Baptist, just, middle, middle name, name, pooh, same, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, wordplay

• Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

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  2 weeks ago

  figure, figure skating, humor, i, ice, ice rink, joke, medalist, niche, niche sport, Olympic, Olympic medalist, rink, skating, sometimes, sport, sport joke, walk

• Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

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  3 weeks ago

  again, back, break, comeback, figure, health, humor, ID, irony, media, mental, mental health, ruin, self-deprecation, social, social media, Twitter

• I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

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  4 weeks ago

  always, anxiety, figure, humor, i, just, need, own, panic, problem, problem-solving, self-reliance, solving, stress

• If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

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  1 month ago

  amusement, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, emotion, enter, figure, God, hack, humor, improvement, life, life hack, mindset, mode, motivation, much, positivity, pretty, self, self-improvement, state

• The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

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  2 months ago

  conspiracy, Epstein, Epstein file, figure, file, humor, joke, PDF, real, technology

• Can I come over and figure you out?

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  2 months ago

  communication, curiosity, figure, flirt, humor, i, invitation, over, relationship

• It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

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  2 months ago

  actually, aging, aging humor, aging joke, anything, apathy, care, cynicism, energy, figure, humor, joke, just, life, life perspective, older, perspective, wisdom

• They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

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  2 months ago

  affection, doctor, figure, hold, hospital, humor, kiss, kisses, let, love, me, never, overnight, overnight stay, romance, stay, still, sweet, sweet kiss, want, why

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