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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Going viral on Threads:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Spotted on Telegram:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Just shared via TikTok:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Seen just now on Slack:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Just landed via YouTube:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Funny footwear quotes

Funny footwear quotes 👟👠 are the perfect way to step up your day with a splash of humor and style! Whether you’re a sneakerhead or a heel lover, these witty lines will have you laughing all the way to your closet. Ready to put your best foot forward with some clever quips? Let’s lace up some fun and walk into a world where shoes speak louder than words! 😂✨

New funny footwear quotes 👇

All funny footwear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

92 shares on Threads this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,650

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Broadcasted on Discord:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Seen just now on Telegram:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Just landed via X:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Broadcasted on Discord:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

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