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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Spotted on Threads:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Going viral on TikTok:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Seen just now on TikTok:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Making waves on Slack:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Spotted on Threads:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Going viral on Threads:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Spotted on X:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Breaking via Threads:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Going viral on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

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