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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

50 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Making waves on Reddit:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Spotted on Twitch:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Trending via LinkedIn:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Spotted on Threads:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Live now on WhatsApp:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Home » Funny Give Quotes

119 Funny give quotes

Funny give quotes 😂💬 the delightful art of sharing giggles wrapped in words, are perfect for injecting humor into any conversation. Whether you’re looking to add a sprinkle of wit to your day or find the perfect comeback, these little gems are your ticket to laughter land. So, buckle up and prepare for a wild ride through the whimsical world of words that tickle your funny bone! 🎉

New funny give quotes 👇

15 hours ago
Share →: Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Commentary:
That's right, I'm just following doctor's orders as I enjoy my leisurely 20-year spa day 😂🛁⏳
16 hours ago
Share →: What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Commentary:
Looks like someone needs a taste test before serving up that advice buffet! 🍴🙃
20 hours ago
Share →: Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Commentary:
When your name sounds like a scientific term, but you've got a PhD in concentration 🤓📚🤣
1 day ago
Share →: Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Commentary:
Keith Richards is basically time's favorite recycling project! ⏳🕺🍸
1 day ago
Share →: Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Commentary:
Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture! 🥨😌🪑
1 day ago
Share →: Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Commentary:
Guess I've been sending it mixed signals with my WiFi password! 🌌🤔📶
1 day ago
Share →: “Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Commentary:
😂🤔 "My schedule is as open as a book with a plot twist incoming!" 📅📖
2 days ago
Share →: Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Commentary:
When he says he’ll give 110%, but he meant 110% of the bare minimum 🤦‍♂️🙈
2 days ago
Share →: Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Commentary:
Trying to explain to my boss why I need a break to strategize my snack heists, but they’re just not nibbling… 🥨🥷⌛
2 days ago
Share →: If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Commentary:
Thinking cap on, pizza oven preheated! 🍕🤔 If it's not cheesy, I can't make it easy! 😄

For even more funny give quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny give quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

50 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Trending via Threads:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Just landed via Instagram:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Broadcasted on X:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Just landed via Instagram:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Reported on Snapchat:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Live now on Instagram:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Live now on Snapchat:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Breaking via WeChat:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

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