149 Funny give quotes

• Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

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  7 days ago

  actual, button, buttons, employment, exchange, give, having, humor, insane, insanity, job, money, pressing, salary, work

• If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

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  7 days ago

  break, break up, commitment, dating, enough, give, humor, love, marriage, married, never, persistence, person, relationship, same, times

• You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.

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  1 week ago

  50, care, choose, encroachment, give, humor, menstruation, pad, period, personal, personal care, prime, still, underwear

• Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

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  1 week ago

  anyone, away, ever, frustration, give, greeting, grok, humor, lord, prayer, said, sarcasm, suffering, take

• I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

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  1 week ago

  childhood, commando, family, give, hear, humor, i, know, memory, mom, parent, prime, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, siblings, speechless, young, youth

• Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

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  1 week ago

  brother, card, Christmas, exchange, gift, gift card, gift exchange, give, holiday, holiday humor, humor, i, me, special, time

• Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

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  1 week ago

  bedtime, bedtime procrastination, control, control issue, day, day end, end, feels, give, issue, last, personal, personal time, procrastination, sleep, sleep issue, time, yours

• Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

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  1 week ago

  away, Christmas, day, disappointment, feel, gift, give, giving, heart, heartbreak, humor, imagine, next, relationship, someone, stupid

• It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

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  1 week ago

  beautiful, Christmas, complete, email, emails, getting, give, holiday, holiday season, humor, just, people, procrastination, season, sentence, time, work, year

• Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

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  1 week ago

  accident, accidents, back, car, car insurance, end, give, having, insurance, insurance policy, money, policy, refund, reward, safety, safety reward, should, year

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