Commentary:
Keith Richards is basically time's favorite recycling project! ⏳🕺🍸
149 Funny give quotes
Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?
Commentary:
Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture! 🥨😌🪑
Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.
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Guess I've been sending it mixed signals with my WiFi password! 🌌🤔📶
Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.
Commentary:
Pressing buttons and getting paid? I've been in training for this my whole life! 😎💰🚀
If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate practice-makes-perfect relationship strategy! 💍🤣
You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.
Commentary:
When your period is playing Monopoly and decides your underwear is the Boardwalk! 🎲🚩
Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’
Commentary:
"Next time someone says 'Hey, Grok,' I'm handing them a VIP ticket to all my life's bloopers! 😂🙌 #GrokDown 👀✨"
I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.
Commentary:
Those kids are playing with fire; they're about to learn what a real life ninja mom can do! 😂🥷🔥
Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.
Commentary:
Ah, the Christmas tradition of exchanging the exact same gift card amount… it's the thought (and math) that counts! 🎅💸🎄
Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.
Commentary:
Taking bedtime procrastination to an Olympic-level sport 🥇😴 Who needs sleep when you can win the "just one more episode" marathon? 📺😂