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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

149 Funny give quotes

Funny give quotes 😂💬 the delightful art of sharing giggles wrapped in words, are perfect for injecting humor into any conversation. Whether you’re looking to add a sprinkle of wit to your day or find the perfect comeback, these little gems are your ticket to laughter land. So, buckle up and prepare for a wild ride through the whimsical world of words that tickle your funny bone! 🎉

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

You give my middle finger an erection.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

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