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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2327 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,489

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,489

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Live now on Reddit:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Breaking via X:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Just shared via TikTok:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Just shared via Twitch:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Live now on WhatsApp:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Trending via Facebook:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2327 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,489

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,489

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Seen just now on Slack:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Just shared via Messenger:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Shared recently on Telegram:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Making waves on Telegram:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Spotted on Messenger:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Just landed via Telegram:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Trending via YouTube:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Just landed via Messenger:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

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