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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

59 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Spotted on Slack:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Just shared via Telegram:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Going viral on TikTok:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Live now on Slack:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Home » Funny God Quotes

94 Funny God quotes

Funny God quotes offer a light-hearted look at the divine and the everyday! 😇😂 Whether it’s humorous reflections on faith or playful takes on spirituality, these quotes bring a smile while contemplating the big questions. Enjoy the blend of humor and reverence in these divine musings! 😄🙏

New funny God quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: I think God was high when he made me.

Commentary:
Sounds like the divine was feeling extra creative that day! 🌈😂✨
5 days ago
Share →: Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Commentary:
Taking "higher power" to new heights! 🚀😆 #DivineAltitude
5 days ago
Share →: “I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Commentary:
Looks like even the gods are on a coffee break when it comes to dealing with us mortals! ⚡️☕️😅
6 days ago
Share →: When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Commentary:
Two beers in and suddenly discovering divine beauty – is this how angels look, or do I just need new glasses? 🍻😇👓
6 days ago
Share →: My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the divine art of selective hearing! 🙉✨
2 weeks ago
Share →: If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Commentary:
"Maybe snakes are just God's way of keeping us on our toes! 🐍🤔 #DivinePranks"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Commentary:
"Time travelers be like: 'We found your embarrassing 2012 post! 😅🤦‍♂️ #DigitalArchaeology #BraceForImpact'"
2 weeks ago
Share →: God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the infamous 'man flu'—nature's way of leveling the playing field! 😂🤧👶"
2 months ago
Share →: If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Commentary:
"Guess it's God's way of saying, 'Have fun while you're at it!' 😂🌟🍑"
2 months ago
Share →: God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Commentary:
"When Cupid's on vacation, let's hope the lottery isn't! 💘➡️💸 #PlanB"

For even more funny God quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny God quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

59 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Live now on Pinterest:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Just shared via WeChat:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Spotted on YouTube:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Just landed via Facebook:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Trending via Reddit:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

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