Funny God Quotes That Will Make You Laugh and Reflect! 🙏😂

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

4 months ago3 months ago

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

4 months ago3 months ago

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

4 months ago3 months ago

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

4 months ago3 months ago

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

4 months ago3 months ago

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

4 months ago3 months ago

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

5 months ago3 months ago

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

5 months ago3 months ago

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

5 months ago3 months ago

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

6 months ago3 months ago

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

6 months ago3 months ago

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Jun 16, 20243 months ago

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Jun 16, 20243 months ago

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Jun 11, 20243 months ago

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Jun 7, 20243 months ago

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

May 20, 20243 months ago

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

May 15, 20243 months ago

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

May 11, 20243 months ago

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

May 8, 20243 months ago

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Nov 9, 2023Nov 9, 2023

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Oct 27, 2023Oct 27, 2023

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Oct 23, 2023Oct 23, 2023

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Oct 17, 20233 months ago

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Oct 2, 20233 months ago

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Sep 23, 2023Sep 23, 2023

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Sep 23, 2023Oct 11, 2023

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Sep 22, 2023Oct 18, 2023

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Sep 22, 20233 months ago