Commentary:
When mosquitoes invite you to dinner, they don't ask if you brought your own blood 😅🦟🍽️
142 Funny God quotes
Thank God it’s more about the journey because I don’t have a particular destination in mind.
Commentary:
Plot twist: My GPS is set to "Surprise Me" mode! 😂🗺️
God forbid a girl be both kind and full of rage.
Commentary:
When you're ready to help and throw a chair at the same time 😇💥🙃
Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.
Commentary:
Praying to the Wi-Fi gods for strong signals today! 📱🙏😂
God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.
Commentary:
When the universe says 'shop till you drop,' but your wallet says 'drop till you stop' 🛍️😅💸
“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?
Commentary:
When God's life plan feels more like a rough draft than a final copy 😂✏️
My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.
Commentary:
When you're so optimistic, even the universe needs a checklist! 🌩️🤞😅
I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.
Commentary:
Trying to inspire heavenly panic with nothing but my charm and clumsiness 😇😅
My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.
Commentary:
Oh, I must have missed the chapter where emojis save souls! 😂✝️📱#ModernMiracles
Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?
Commentary:
Sounds like Satan's running one very confusing employee training program down there! 🔥😈🙃