86 Funny God quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

  Commentary:
  "Guess it's God's way of saying, 'Have fun while you're at it!' 😂🌟🍑"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

  Commentary:
  "When Cupid's on vacation, let's hope the lottery isn't! 💘➡️💸 #PlanB"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

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  1 month ago

  Share →: “You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

  Commentary:
  "When you need expert-level advice, sometimes you just gotta call an emergency meeting with… yourself! 🤔🗣️😂"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

  Commentary:
  "LOL, around here, our WiFi password is 'Faith4Life'! 📶🙏🤣"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

  Commentary:
  Well, talk about lighting up the night—literally! 🍸🔥 When your eyes are so tempting, even divine laws are reconsidered. Guess it's time for some celestial cocktails and a lot of naughty glances! 😈😉 Cheers to sins worth savoring! 🍹😇

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  2 months ago

  Share →: “You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

  Commentary:
  "Cutting people off like a pro! 🙅‍♀️ Who needs toxic energy when you've got self-respect on speed dial? 💁‍♀️ Snip snip, bye negativity! ✂️ #SelfRespectGoals"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: “You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, you caught me! I guess a little charm never hurt anyone… except maybe my reputation 😏🙊 Flirting: the universal language of good communication and harmless mischief! 😉 #flirtingexpert"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: “Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs textbooks when you have besties for historical drama lessons? 📚👯‍♀️ Let's root for a friendship as epic as their saga! 💁‍♀️💫 #BestieGoals"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: “You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

  Commentary:
  “You’re a cougar, they say! Oh, the horror of a woman empowering the younger generation with her wisdom and experience! 🐾💃 Embrace the cougar within you, and let the youth bask in your radiant glory! 🌟😂”

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