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Praying to the Wi-Fi gods for strong signals today! 📱🙏😂
139 Funny God quotes
God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.
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When the universe says 'shop till you drop,' but your wallet says 'drop till you stop' 🛍️😅💸
“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?
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When God's life plan feels more like a rough draft than a final copy 😂✏️
My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.
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When you're so optimistic, even the universe needs a checklist! 🌩️🤞😅
I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.
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Trying to inspire heavenly panic with nothing but my charm and clumsiness 😇😅
My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.
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Oh, I must have missed the chapter where emojis save souls! 😂✝️📱#ModernMiracles
Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?
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Sounds like Satan's running one very confusing employee training program down there! 🔥😈🙃
The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.
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Looks like divine intervention is the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card! 😇🃏🔍
God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.
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When you're an angel on the runway but a hurricane in the bathroom 🚶♀️💨😇
Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.
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"Guess God couldn't find a 'reset' button, so He went for a deep clean! 🌊🙌"