139 Funny God quotes

• “You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

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  1 hour ago

  advice, expert, God, humor, i, sarcasm, seek, self-confidence, self-talk, talking, wit, yourself

• Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

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  4 hours ago

  around, attitude, baby, belief, believe, care, days, faith, God, here, humor, i, religion, spirituality, trending

• Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

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  6 hours ago

  another, cocktail, date, draft, flirtation, gaze, God, humor, lit, lust, need, playful, romantic, sin, witty

• “You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

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  8 hours ago

  actually, cut, cut off, girl, God, humor, quick, relationships, self-respect, someone

• “You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

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  8 hours ago

  communication, flirt, girl, God, good, humor, irony, skills

• “Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

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  9 hours ago

  bestie, drama, enjoy, girl, God, history, lessons, old, stop, talking

• “You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

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  9 hours ago

  back, cougar, give, give back, God, humor, woman, youth

• “You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

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  9 hours ago

  curiosity, dating, future, God, humor, husband, know, relationship, stalker, wants, woman

• God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

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  9 hours ago

  age, contentment, God, happiness, happy, i, irony, reflection, retrospect, time, youth

• You only live once and thank God for that.

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  10 hours ago

  appreciation, existence, God, gratitude, humor, irony, life, live, once, only, philosophy, thank, yolo

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