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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Going viral on TikTok:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Trending via Pinterest:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Trending via Reddit:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Reported on TikTok:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Going viral on Reddit:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Just landed via X:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Going viral on Twitch:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Shared recently on X:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Making waves on Slack:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Shared recently on YouTube:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Making waves on YouTube:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

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