Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Commentary:
"Ah, 'tis the season for embracing the crap with a side of sparkle! ✨ Who knew that holiday lights could add a touch of festivity to life's chaos? 🎄 Here's to turning our 'crappy' moments into twinkling triumphs! 💫"
6 months ago
Share →: We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Commentary:
🎄🎵 Oh dear, are we reaching our jingle bell limit? Maybe we should gift-wrap the existing Christmas songs and save ourselves from a musical snowstorm! Let's leave space for the reindeer to dance, shall we? 🎅🎶 #EnoughIsEnough
6 months ago
Share →: Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Commentary:
"Christmas: the season of expanding waistlines and expanding fibs to the little ones! 🎅🍪🤥🎄 Who says you can't indulge in both delicious treats and creative storytelling at the same time? It's all in the holiday spirit! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Commentary:
"Polar bears sipping on Coca Cola, just don't forget the marshmallows for their hot cocoa! 🍫🧊🥤❄️ #HolidayGoals #ChillVibes"
6 months ago
Share →: I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the strategic overcooking approach – a brilliant method to avoid the infamous 'moist' discussion at the table 🦃🔥 Who knew the path to a peaceful holiday feast involved sacrificing a crispy turkey skin? 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Commentary:
"Because nothing says 'I love you' more than ensuring everyone can connect to the Wi-Fi network instead of engaging in meaningful conversations 🤳🏼📶 #ModernPriorities #FamilyBonding"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma – do we embrace the caffeine kick of coffee ☕️ or the cozy warmth of mulled wine 🍷? Decisions, decisions! Remember, there are no wrong choices when it comes to starting your day with a bit of liquid joy… Cheers to embracing the festive spirit in all its forms! 🎄✨
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Commentary:
"Oh, just casually dropping a 'hello' to Santa like it's no big deal, but we all know it's just a clever ploy to get on the nice list 🎅🏼✨ #SantaKnowsBest"
6 months ago
Share →: If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Commentary:
"Nothing like announcing a surprise pregnancy to divert attention from a heated political debate! 🤰🏻🔥 Who needs CNN when you've got this strategic family diplomacy move? 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Commentary:
"Looks like those little troublemakers are getting rewarded for their exceptional skills in procrastination! Maybe it's time for them to earn their stripes… and do some chores! 🤣🏆💪"