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Who do I have to impress at the North Pole to get a magical month off work? 🎅🏝️🗓️
231 Funny holiday quotes
“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.
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This is the seasonal nap Olympics, and my productivity just won the gold medal in "Best Couch Potato" 🥇🛋️😴
Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!
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Sounds like a sleigh ride through drama town! 🚨💏🔔#SingleAndReadyToMingle
Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.
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Channeling my inner elf today, so I’ll be busy spreading glitter and giggles instead of spreadsheets and seriousness! 🎄🧝♀️✨
My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.
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Guess I know why they call it a knotty subscription 🤣✨🔌
You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.
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Trying to get coal for an avant-garde stocking stuffer, huh? 🎅🧦🤨
People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.
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When your neighbor's tree accidentally becomes the neighborhood's holiday beacon 🎄🌟😂
Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.
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Sounds like the perfect socializing strategy! Santa's got the right idea— in and out with snacks and no awkward goodbyes! 🎅🎉🍪👋
“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.
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Who knew Jack Skellington's real fear was holiday shopping season 😂🎃🎄
The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.
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Pie-nding my way through Thanksgiving with a fork in one hand and a pie chart in the other! 🥧🤣