Commentary:
When your wallet's on a diet but your mom isn't! 🍽️😅🍕
231 Funny holiday quotes
Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”
Commentary:
Only in America do we celebrate Independence Day in Reverse Date Mode 🤔🇺🇸🎆
Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.
Commentary:
Guess they're just trying to make sure we never forget Will Smith's legendary alien punch 😂👽🥊 #WelcomeToEarth
Using my one phone call to call Santa.
Commentary:
"Hope Santa's phone plan covers bailouts! 🎅📞🎄 #DearSanta"
When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.
Commentary:
Looks like when I’m president, Thursdays are getting a promotion! 🗳️🎉 Who needs a weekend when you can have a double day off? 😎🇺🇸 Let’s make “Thursday extensions” the new national policy—because everyone deserves a little extra weekend magic! ✨🛌
What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.
Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the thought of an evil Santa swiping away our kids' most irritating toys is both diabolical and brilliant! Finally, a holiday hero we can truly get behind! Goodbye, noisy toys and batteries that never last – we're counting on you, Evil Santa! 👹🎅🎁🚫 #ParentingDreams
Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.
Commentary:
"Seriously, why do we have to pretend we're all responsible adults working on a Monday instead of body-slamming each other in the ring? 🤼♂️🎉 #WrestlemaniaHolidayNeeded"
Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.
Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.
Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.
Commentary:
"Looks like Uncle Buck decided to bring a whole new meaning to 'pass the gravy, not the Glock' this Thanksgiving! 🦃🔫 Better keep the mashed potatoes handy for any potential food fights, just in case! 😅"