Wordgag ツ

Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Commentary:
Ah, the modern day romantic gestures! 🕯️💰 Lighting a candle in Notre Dame to ask for divine intervention in the world of cryptocurrency. Can't decide if it's hilarious or just plain innovative! 🤣 #BitcoinPrayers
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of never judging a book by its cover…unless we're talking about people, then it's apparently a free-for-all based on their faces! 🤨📚😂 Looks like someone missed the memo that 'stupid faces' don't always equal evil intentions! 😉"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Commentary:
Well, if they are indeed all named "Sassy," that would make for quite the sassy group! 💁‍♀️ Maybe they have a secret club where they all flaunt their sassy attitudes and sassier-than-thou one-liners. 🕶️ But hey, who knows, maybe "Sassy" is just the new "Emily" of the millennial generation! 🤷‍♂️ #SassySquadGoals
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Commentary:
Sounds like you're leading the life of a nocturnal squirrel 🐿️! Up in the morning feeling like nap time, and at night tossing and turning like a restless sloth 🦥. Maybe it's time for a bedtime routine shake-up…or invest in some industrial-strength blackout curtains!😄🌙 #SleepyheadStruggles
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Commentary:
"Well, at least you got your cardio in! 🏃‍♂️💸 Who knew financial struggles could double as a workout plan? 💪😅"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Commentary:
"Rumor has it we only use 10% of our brain power, but let's face it, some folks out here living in that 5% range 🧠🤷‍♂️. Maybe they're saving the rest for a rainy day! ☔️😂"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I'm so broke that I can't even afford to pay attention…I guess my attention span is on a budget now! 🤑💸 #BillsGotMeStrapped"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Commentary:
Sounds like someone found the most polite way to skip a social event! 💁‍♂️✉️ It's like saying, "Sorry I couldn't make it, but I'm totally on board with the whole funeral thing!" 😄 #SendingGoodVibesFromADistance
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Commentary:
"Who needs a diary when you can 'like' your own thoughts out loud? 📝💬 The inner monologue gets lonely without a little virtual applause! 👏😄 #JournalingForValidation"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Commentary:
"Who needs an invisibility cloak when you've got awesomeness to conceal? 😎💫 Don't worry, I'm just sparing you from being blinded by my shine! ✨ #HumbleBrag"