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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Spreading quickly via X:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Making waves on Telegram:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Making waves on Slack:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Spotted on Telegram:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Trending via Messenger:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Shared recently on X:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Just shared via Reddit:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Reported on Slack:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

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Funny immigrant quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Breaking via Telegram:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Just shared via TikTok:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Trending via Instagram:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Just landed via Instagram:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Going viral on Twitch:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Reported on Reddit:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Spotted on TikTok:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

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