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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Reported on X:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Spotted on Discord:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Live now on X:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Seen just now on X:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

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Funny irresponsible adult quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Going viral on TikTok:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Shared recently on Facebook:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Shared recently on X:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Going viral on Reddit:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

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