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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Just landed via Threads:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Going viral on WeChat:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Funny legal jargon quotes

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All funny legal jargon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

15 shares on X this month:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

100 shares on Discord this month:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent crushes that like you back.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Trending via Messenger:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Making waves on WeChat:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

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