Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Trending via Discord:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Making waves on Threads:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Just shared via Messenger:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Trending via Telegram:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Trending via Facebook:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Trending via Facebook:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Home » Funny Life Insurance Quotes

Funny life insurance quotes

New funny life insurance quotes 👇

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

0

1 month ago

bed, cat, humor, i, insurance, joke, let, life, life insurance, pet, put, sarcasm

All funny life insurance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

82 shares on Slack this month:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The older I get, no.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Making waves on Threads:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Going viral on WeChat:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Trending via Slack:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Trending via Twitch:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Just landed via Messenger:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Seen just now on Discord:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Live now on Reddit:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny life insurance quotes

New funny life insurance quotes 👇

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

All funny life insurance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨