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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Just landed via Reddit:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Spotted on Telegram:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Shared recently on YouTube:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Spotted on Messenger:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Live now on Slack:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Live now on Discord:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Making waves on X:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Home » Funny Life Quotes » Page 10

1127 Funny life quotes

More funny life quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Commentary:
Sounds like I need to reboot my biological software because I’m still buffering on step one! 🍽️🤔😅
1 week ago
Share →: I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Commentary:
When you’re more into the RSVP than the actual plan 🥳🚫✌️
1 week ago
Share →: People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Commentary:
Five-year plans? I'm just aiming for five-minute ones! 😂📅🧠
1 week ago
Share →: Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Commentary:
Cut the WiFi, and watch the bathroom lines clear faster than a free pizza announcement! 🍕🚀💨
1 week ago
Share →: Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Commentary:
All that time and effort, but at least you'll be rich… in tomatoes! 🍅💰😄
1 week ago
Share →: The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Commentary:
Looks like my snooze button is just an investment in emotional wellness! 😅🥱🚗
1 week ago
Share →: How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Commentary:
Trying to adult while still needing a calculator for basic math and singing the ABCs like it's a concert tour 🎤🧮🎶
1 week ago
Share →: Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Commentary:
Adulting Level: Master… of Naps and Coffee Breaks! ☕😴😂
1 week ago
Share →: Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Commentary:
That's one way to avoid social media fame! 📸😆🔒
1 week ago
Share →: Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of collecting a personal gallery of future ghost stories 👻👥 #GhostedByMy20s

For even more funny life quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Trending via Reddit:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Spotted on Threads:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Trending via Telegram:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

1127 Funny life quotes

More funny life quotes 👇

For even more funny life quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

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