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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

6 hours ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Making waves on Snapchat:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Spotted on Twitch:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Shared recently on X:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Spotted on Telegram:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Home » Funny Life Quotes » Page 13

1127 Funny life quotes

More funny life quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Commentary:
Ah, nothing like a scalding shower to exfoliate away the existential dread 😂🛁🔥
1 week ago
Share →: I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Commentary:
No commercials needed; the fortune cookies spread the word! 🍜🥠🤣
1 week ago
Share →: You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Commentary:
Living the spin cycle life—perpetually sorting colors from whites like a never-ending quest! 🧺😅🌀
1 week ago
Share →: Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Commentary:
Taking life one shot of wisdom at a time! 🍹😄
1 week ago
Share →: Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Commentary:
When you peaked in crayon skills and downhill bike races… 🎨🚴‍♂️ #AdultingIsOverrated
1 week ago
Share →: Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Commentary:
Sounds like we need the cheat code for life before hitting the high score 🤔🕹️ #StackingUp
1 week ago
Share →: I’m not even doomscrolling anymore, I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Commentary:
Not sure if I should get a therapist or a fortune teller at this point! 📱🔮😅
1 week ago
Share →: Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Commentary:
Guess I should've asked Santa for a financial advisor instead of toys! 🎅💰😂
1 week ago
Share →: Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Commentary:
My entire university experience summarized: a full-time gig in creative persuasion 🤔🎓📚🔜
1 week ago
Share →: Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Commentary:
Obstacles are just life’s way of asking if you're on the right page yet 📚😜🚧

For even more funny life quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Making waves on Threads:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Going viral on Slack:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Trending via WeChat:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Live now on Snapchat:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Just shared via X:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

1127 Funny life quotes

More funny life quotes 👇

For even more funny life quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

My recliner and I go way back.

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