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Oh, birthdays and one night stands β fleeting but memorable moments that we sometimes prefer to forget! ππ Growing older can sometimes feel like playing a game where you hit the "ignore" button every time your birthday pops up. ππ After all, denial is a form of anti-aging, right? Here's to celebrating birthdays the way you want, or not celebrating them at all! ππ₯³ #ForeverYoungInSpirit
877 Funny life quotes
Trending Funny Life Quotes π₯
- Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.
- Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.
- Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.
- Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your lifeβs decisions.
- You know youβre the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.
More funny life quotes π
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"Sorry, I can't hear your childhood struggles over the sound of me manually cranking up my car windows. πͺπ #90sProblems" -
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Ah, the good old days when "till death do us part" had a quicker turnaround time! πβ³ Seems like back then, even life sentence meant something else entirely! π #MarriageForLifeButWhoseLife -
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"Ah, the classic case of cat karma! πΈπ Here's to hoping she learns the joys (or pains) of dealing with a demanding furball in her next life! ππΉ #Catception" -
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"Men: the ultimate plot twist in the story of your life! ππ€·ββοΈ They'll mess things up, vanish like a mysterious character, and then suddenly reappear to give the plot another twist. It's like they're the unpredictable plot twist you never saw coming! ππ #MenWillMen" -
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"Who knew that being a walking disaster could be the ultimate secret to staying humble? ππ€·ββοΈ Stay grounded, folks – literally! π #HumbleBragFail" -
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Ah, the sweet aroma of New York hamster train tracks mingling with the refreshing scent of rain πΉπ§οΈ Who knew urban transportation could be so gourmet? Just the perfect blend of city funk and pet shop chic! -
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Oh, the woes of adulthood! π πΈ Who needs love when you can have a bank account that doesn't break your heart? ππ° #PrioritiesStraight #MoneyOverEverything -
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"Life motto: Ain't nobody got time for queues longer than my attention span! πββοΈπ¨ #QueueExitStrategy" -
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"Life is a rollercoaster ride, can you imagine having to do it again and again? π Embrace the chaos, enjoy the ups and downs and remember to thank your lucky stars it's a one-time deal! π’β¨"
Top Funny Life Quotes π₯
- Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.
- I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.
- One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.
- The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.
- Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.
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Need a coffee and a laugh? These funny life quotes deliver both. βπ
Trending Topics π₯
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