Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,901

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Just shared via X:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Going viral on Twitch:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Home » Funny Magician Quotes

Funny magician quotes

Funny magician quotes 🪄✨ bring a sprinkle of laughter to the mysterious world of magic! Whether you’re a wizard with a wand or just love a good chuckle, these witty and clever lines will make you smile 😄🎩. Get ready to be amazed not just by tricks, but by hilarious words that turn illusions into pure comedy gold! 🃏🎉

New funny magician quotes 👇

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

0

2 months ago

clothing, comparison, cut, experience, funny comparison, half, humor, i, jeans, magician, never, same, Thanksgiving, thing
The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

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2 months ago

card, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, me, pick, told, trick, Visa
I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

0

2 months ago

failure, family, half, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, sibling, sister
A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

0

2 months ago

good, house, humor, illusion, know, living, magic, magician, mystery, never, secret, surprise, unexpected
My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

0

2 months ago

fitness, getting, goal, goal weight, half, humor, illusion, magician, me, saw, trick, weight

All funny magician quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

49 shares on Slack this month:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

47 shares on Discord this month:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,824

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Seen just now on X:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Going viral on TikTok:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

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