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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,233

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Going viral on Discord:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Shared recently on Discord:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Trending via X:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Spotted on Messenger:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Spotted on WeChat:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Funny magician quotes

Funny magician quotes 🪄✨ bring a sprinkle of laughter to the mysterious world of magic! Whether you’re a wizard with a wand or just love a good chuckle, these witty and clever lines will make you smile 😄🎩. Get ready to be amazed not just by tricks, but by hilarious words that turn illusions into pure comedy gold! 🃏🎉

New funny magician quotes 👇

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

0

2 months ago

clothing, comparison, cut, experience, funny comparison, half, humor, i, jeans, magician, never, same, Thanksgiving, thing
The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

0

2 months ago

card, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, me, pick, told, trick, Visa
I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

0

2 months ago

failure, family, half, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, sibling, sister
A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

0

2 months ago

good, house, humor, illusion, know, living, magic, magician, mystery, never, secret, surprise, unexpected
My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

0

2 months ago

fitness, getting, goal, goal weight, half, humor, illusion, magician, me, saw, trick, weight

All funny magician quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Discord this month:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine being social on social media.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Ugh, but profoundly.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

63 shares on X this month:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

67 shares on Facebook this month:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,413

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Shared recently on TikTok:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Broadcasted on Threads:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Just shared via Reddit:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Making waves on TikTok:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Going viral on Twitch:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Going viral on X:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

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