I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic magic trick of squeezing into those post-Thanksgiving jeans 🦃✨ Who needs a sawing-in-half illusion when you can experience the real magic of stretch denim! 🎩👖😄"

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Commentary:
Looks like the magician's trick backfired – now he'll have to enjoy a splurge on his own dime! 💳😄 Remember, always read the fine print before using magic for financial gain! ✨

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Commentary:
"Looks like magic runs in the family… and so does the disappearing act! 🎩✨🔮 Poor sisters, they must be tired of pulling those rabbits out of the hat! 🐇😂"

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Commentary:
🎩✨🏠 "Can you imagine having a magician as a housemate and not even knowing it? Talk about disappearing acts in plain sight! Guess that's why the rent is always vanishing… 😉🏡"

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Commentary:
"Who needs the gym when you can just dazzle the audience with some magic tricks? 🎩✨🔮 Also, if you ever need a shortcut to shedding those extra pounds, just grab a magician! 🎩🔪💫"