Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Every day we get closer and closer to Idiocracy coming true.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Making waves on X:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Just landed via Telegram:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Going viral on Messenger:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Just shared via TikTok:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Just shared via X:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Just shared via Slack:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Just landed via WeChat:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

47 shares on X this month:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Trending via Threads:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Breaking via Slack:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Spotted on X:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Is this art or trash?

Seen just now on X:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Trending via Facebook:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

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