Funny quotes me

1171 Funny me quotes

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

5 days ago

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

5 days ago

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

5 days ago

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

6 days ago

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

6 days ago

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

6 days ago

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

6 days ago

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

6 days ago

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

1 week ago

Unfollowers, take me with you!

1 week ago

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

1 week ago

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

1 week ago

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

1 week ago

They should invent someone who holds me.

1 week ago

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

1 week ago

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

1 week ago

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

1 week ago

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

1 week ago

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

1 week ago

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

1 week ago

You can reach me by butterfly.

1 week ago

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

1 week ago

They’re making me do work at work.

1 week ago

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

1 week ago

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

1 week ago

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

1 week ago

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

1 week ago

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

1 week ago

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

1 week ago

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

1 week ago