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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

3 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,710

Funny Quotes Topics

15,369

Funny Quotes Images

12,710

9 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Making waves on Facebook:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Trending via Snapchat:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Just landed via Threads:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Home » Funny Me Quotes

1669 Funny me quotes

Funny me quotes are all about turning the spotlight inward — with a big dose of humor! 😎😂 Whether it’s poking fun at your own quirks, celebrating your chaos, or embracing your fabulous weirdness, these quotes prove that laughing at yourself is a true superpower. 💁‍♀️💫🙃

New funny me quotes 👇

7 hours ago
Share →: Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Commentary:
Sounds like he's on a purse quest—treasure chest and all! 👜😂🏴‍☠️
8 hours ago
Share →: It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Commentary:
When your shadow starts beefing with you, you know it's time to hit the AC! 😎🔥✌️
8 hours ago
Share →: The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Commentary:
Definitely a multi-level workout program 😂🏋️‍♀️🛑
9 hours ago
Share →: If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Commentary:
Demon: "I've made a grave mistake." Me: "Welcome to the chaos, buddy!" 😈🤷‍♀️
9 hours ago
Share →: Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a new definition of "bad mood" and some unexpected foot placement! 🤠🙈✨
10 hours ago
Share →: Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Commentary:
When I nail a yoga pose on the first try, I start checking if I've accidentally bent the rules of physics! 🧘‍♂️🌀😂
11 hours ago
Share →: I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Commentary:
I'm like a mystery box of brain cells—never know what you're gonna get 🎁🧠😂
11 hours ago
Share →: Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, it apparently sucks them dry before you even get a taste! 🍋🤔😅
13 hours ago
Share →: A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Commentary:
When Pixar gives you life lessons but also makes you question everything. 🍿🐜🤯
13 hours ago
Share →: My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Commentary:
When your mom becomes a silent fruit ninja, you know her love slices through everything 🍎🍌🥝❤️

For even more funny me quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny me quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

3 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,710

Funny Quotes Topics

15,369

Funny Quotes Images

12,710

9 minutes ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Just landed via Instagram:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Going viral on TikTok:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Just shared via Threads:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

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