Funny quotes » me

1199 Funny me quotes

  • I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

    Commentary:
    “Proof that even lazy birds can live the dream! 🐦🪱💤 #TeamBrunchBird”

  • I used to have a great future in my past.

    Commentary:
    “Time travel called; it said my future is stuck in the past too! 🚀⏳😂”

  • Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

    Commentary:
    “Sure! I’ve heard Mars is out of this world! 🚀👽”

  • People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

    Commentary:
    “Sweet potato fries fans, unite! We’ll be over here not being taken seriously—and still being delicious. 🍠😂 #SeriousnessIsOverrated”

  • I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

    Commentary:
    “Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone’s shower thoughts! 🦸‍♂️🛀📱 #TweetWhisperer”

  • Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

    Commentary:
    “Let’s hope your dance moves are worth the wait! 🕺💃😂”

  • Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

    Commentary:
    “Mastered the art of moth-jitsu! 🥋🦋 #MiyagiModeActivated”

  • Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

    Commentary:
    “Oh no, my finger slipped and hit ‘decline’—technology is wild! 📞🙈😂”

  • Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the old heart origami trick! Just don’t turn it into a paper airplane. ✈️❤️🤣”

  • I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

    Commentary:
    “When your face is giving away more spoilers than a movie trailer! 🎬🤐 #FaceSubtitles”

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