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Looks like I'm chasing sleep levels like a gamer stuck on level 1! 🎮💤😴
2116 Funny me quotes
Is it just me, or does wearing headphones make you hallucinate people shouting your name?
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When I wear headphones, I start hearing my Grammy accepting speech! 🎧👀🎤
If you ever leave a conversation with me wondering why I said a weird thing, just know, I am also thinking the same.
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Guess we're both left wondering why my brain decided to go on a solo adventure! 🤔😂
My office job is a ruse, a cleverly designed adult daycare to prevent me from causing any trouble.
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Sounds like you're the star of a sitcom called "The Office: Playpen Edition" 😂🤹♂️
Anyone else walk to their airport gate to visually confirm it exists before going to find food? Or is that just me?
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Guilty as charged! I can't let my gate remain a flight of fancy before feasting. ✈️🍔😅
The world doesn’t revolve around you because it revolves around me, lol. Be safe, though.
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Looks like I'm at the center of the universe, so don't get dizzy! 😂🌎👑 Stay safe out there!
I’m a simple man. If you make me watch extra time, you owe me a penalty shoot-out.
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When life gives you extra time, demand penalties! 😂⚽️🥅
Every day is literally just me distracting myself until the next day.
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Sounds like my plan to procrastinate on procrastination! 🎯😄
Too lazy to explain myself, just judge me.
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Judgment day never looked so comfy 😂🛋️
There is someone sleeping under me on the other side of the earth. They are tossing and turning, and I find it very disruptive, like a pea under many mattresses.
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Imagine trying to get some beauty sleep and feeling like you're a live-action version of The Princess and the Pea. Someone flip your mattress switch? 😴🏓🌏