Commentary:
Why do sock brands try harder than my internet provider to stay in touch? Can we just be sole-mates without all the emails? 🧦📩
2109 Funny me quotes
Every man who’s called me crazy has also called me again later.
Commentary:
Looks like being labeled "crazy" is just my charm spell in disguise! 📞😄💫
If you made $200K last month trading, maybe just keep doing that. You don’t need to sell me a course, too.
Commentary:
Wow, they're trying to have their cake and eat mine too! 🍰💸🤣
I feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept, but each time I sleep, I don’t sleep that sleep.
Commentary:
Looks like I'm chasing sleep levels like a gamer stuck on level 1! 🎮💤😴
Is it just me, or does wearing headphones make you hallucinate people shouting your name?
Commentary:
When I wear headphones, I start hearing my Grammy accepting speech! 🎧👀🎤
If you ever leave a conversation with me wondering why I said a weird thing, just know, I am also thinking the same.
Commentary:
Guess we're both left wondering why my brain decided to go on a solo adventure! 🤔😂
My office job is a ruse, a cleverly designed adult daycare to prevent me from causing any trouble.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're the star of a sitcom called "The Office: Playpen Edition" 😂🤹♂️
Anyone else walk to their airport gate to visually confirm it exists before going to find food? Or is that just me?
Commentary:
Guilty as charged! I can't let my gate remain a flight of fancy before feasting. ✈️🍔😅
The world doesn’t revolve around you because it revolves around me, lol. Be safe, though.
Commentary:
Looks like I'm at the center of the universe, so don't get dizzy! 😂🌎👑 Stay safe out there!
I’m a simple man. If you make me watch extra time, you owe me a penalty shoot-out.
Commentary:
When life gives you extra time, demand penalties! 😂⚽️🥅