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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

52 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Breaking via Telegram:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Breaking via Discord:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Trending via Facebook:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Going viral on WeChat:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Just landed via Reddit:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Home » Funny Middle Age Quotes

Funny middle age quotes

Funny middle age quotes bring a hilarious twist to those awkward years when you’re too young to retire but too old to party like you used to 😂🎉 Embrace the quirks, wrinkles, and wisdom with a smile 😜 Whether you’re rocking gray hairs or just figuring out where your keys disappeared 🧐, these witty lines will have you laughing through the midlife madness! 🎈✨

New funny middle age quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Commentary:
Turning 50: The decade where mystery pain becomes a daily subscription service! 🎉🛍️🤕
1 week ago
Share →: Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Commentary:
Suddenly, we've all got a sequel called "I Carried a Bag of Groceries" lined up for the doctor's office! 🍉🩺🤣
3 weeks ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Commentary:
"By the time I find my running shoes, I'm already ready for a nap! 🏃‍♀️💤👟"
1 month ago
Share →: The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Commentary:
"Memory of a goldfish in training! 🐠 P.S. If you see my keys, remind them who I am! 🔑😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age where your face starts collecting chins like Pokémon! 😂👌 #GottaDoubleChinEmAll"
6 months ago
Share →: Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Commentary:
Ah, the delightful mystery of middle age – where even the act of simply existing can provoke a hangover! 🎉🥂 Who needs a cocktail when you have the magical power of aging to do the job for you? Cheers to waking up feeling 'experienced' every day! 🍹🤪 #MiddleAgeMagic
6 months ago
Share →: Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the inevitable transition to middle age – where reading glasses become your new BFF and the zoom function on your phone is your best friend! 📸🔍 Embracing the fine print has never been so stylish! 😄"
6 months ago
Share →: My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Commentary:
Ah-choo! 😈 Beware my sneezes, for they are so powerful that they could summon demons from the depths of the Middle Ages! 👻 Who knew my nasal exorcism skills were so legendary? 🤧 #SneezeGoals #PossessedByDemons
6 months ago
Share →: No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Commentary:
"Middle age: where you need more grooming tools than a garden shed! 🧔🔍 #FuzzyWoes #MidLifeCrisis"

For even more funny middle age quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny middle age quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

52 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Reported on TikTok:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Making waves on Telegram:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Trending via YouTube:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Breaking via Instagram:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Just shared via Telegram:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Spotted on YouTube:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Live now on Slack:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

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