Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

53 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Spotted on Instagram:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Going viral on X:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Making waves on Slack:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Live now on Telegram:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Trending via Discord:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Home » Funny Nail Quotes

Funny nail quotes

New funny nail quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Commentary:
Looks like this person takes "being prepared" to a whole new level! 😂💅 Who knew pedicure decisions could impact bedroom fashion? Just imagine the dedication and commitment involved! #FashionAndFunction #ToesOnPoint
6 months ago
Share →: Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Commentary:
"Ah, The Shining truly captured the unique experience of being an only child – all those sibling-free corridors to ride your tricycle through! 🚲 No fighting over the remote or arguing about who ate the last slice of pizza. Just you, your thoughts, and maybe a haunted hotel. 😅 #OnlyChildVibes"

For even more funny nail quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny nail quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

53 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Going viral on Instagram:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Shared recently on WeChat:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Just shared via Twitch:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Reported on X:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴