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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

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Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,027

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Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Shared recently on Telegram:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Spotted on Snapchat:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Live now on TikTok:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Home » Funny Next To Nothing Quotes

Funny next to nothing quotes

New funny next to nothing quotes 👇

Next to nothing is a weird place.

1 month ago

humor, next, next to nothing, nothing, perspective, place, weird, weird place

All funny next to nothing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Shared recently on WeChat:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Live now on Messenger:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Just landed via Slack:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Just shared via YouTube:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

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Funny next to nothing quotes

New funny next to nothing quotes 👇

Next to nothing is a weird place.

All funny next to nothing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Talents: eating!

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

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