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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

20 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Just landed via X:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Just shared via Slack:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Just landed via X:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Going viral on Telegram:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Just shared via Telegram:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Making waves on Reddit:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Home » Funny Next To Nothing Quotes

Funny next to nothing quotes

New funny next to nothing quotes 👇

Jan 28, 2025
Share →: Next to nothing is a weird place.

Commentary:
"Being in a state of 'next to nothing' is like straddling the fine line between existence and being a mysterious ninja ghost 👻. It's the limbo where your wallet feels after a shopping spree but before payday 😅💸. Welcome to the weird neighborhood of scarcity and surreal possibilities! 🚶‍♂️🤷‍♀️"

For even more funny next to nothing quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny next to nothing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

20 minutes ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Reported on Pinterest:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Trending via Facebook:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Going viral on Discord:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Freshly posted on X:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Making waves on TikTok:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Just shared via Discord:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

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