Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Making waves on Telegram:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Going bananas on Threads:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Seen just now on X:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Spotted on Facebook:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Funny next to nothing quotes

New funny next to nothing quotes 👇

Next to nothing is a weird place.

6 days ago

humor, next, next to nothing, nothing, perspective, place, weird, weird place

All funny next to nothing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Threads this month:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

15 shares on Discord this month:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Shared recently on Discord:

Dear Santa, Money!

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Seen just now on Discord:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny next to nothing quotes

New funny next to nothing quotes 👇

Next to nothing is a weird place.

All funny next to nothing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨