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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Trending via WeChat:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Making waves on WeChat:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Just landed via Threads:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Live now on Discord:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Just shared via Twitch:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Just landed via X:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Shared recently on Threads:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Spotted on YouTube:

Body by sandwich.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Spotted on TikTok:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Making waves on YouTube:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Reported on Twitch:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

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