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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

825 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,987

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,987

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Trending via Threads:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Making waves on Telegram:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Spotted on Slack:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Going viral on WeChat:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

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Funny parking assistant quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

825 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,987

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,987

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Trending via Reddit:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Seen just now on X:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Going viral on X:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Making waves on Facebook:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

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