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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Just shared via Slack:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Trending via Twitch:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Going viral on YouTube:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Trending via YouTube:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

15 Funny poetry quotes

More funny poetry quotes 👇

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

1 month ago

beverage, drink, fun, humor, i, lightheartedness, need, party, pink, poetry, roses, wine
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

1 month ago

disappointment, humor, parents, poetry, red, relationship, roses, roses are red, violets
Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

1 month ago

expectation, flowers, gardening, humor, i, just, nature, poetry, red, romance, romantic, roses, roses are red, something, surprise
Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

1 month ago

absurdity, Dave, humor, microwave, name, poetry, randomness, red, roses, roses are red, sense
There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

1 month ago

away, closing, door, exit, humor, loud, noise, poetry, sound, subtlety, too, walking, walking away

For even more funny poetry quotes, hit next 👇

All funny poetry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

35 shares on Discord this month:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Going viral on Twitch:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Spotted on Twitch:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Spotted on Messenger:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Going bananas on Discord:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Making waves on Reddit:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

15 Funny poetry quotes

More funny poetry quotes 👇

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

All funny poetry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨