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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Trending via Instagram:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Just shared via Instagram:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Spotted on WeChat:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Live now on YouTube:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Just landed via Pinterest:

My default setting is sexual energy.

15 Funny poetry quotes

More funny poetry quotes 👇

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

3 weeks ago

beverage, drink, fun, humor, i, lightheartedness, need, party, pink, poetry, roses, wine
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

3 weeks ago

disappointment, humor, parents, poetry, red, relationship, roses, roses are red, violets
Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

3 weeks ago

expectation, flowers, gardening, humor, i, just, nature, poetry, red, romance, romantic, roses, roses are red, something, surprise
Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

3 weeks ago

absurdity, Dave, humor, microwave, name, poetry, randomness, red, roses, roses are red, sense
There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

3 weeks ago

away, closing, door, exit, humor, loud, noise, poetry, sound, subtlety, too, walking, walking away

For even more funny poetry quotes, hit next 👇

All funny poetry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

66 shares on Threads this month:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Seen just now on Threads:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Breaking via Messenger:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Trending via Facebook:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Just landed via Telegram:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

15 Funny poetry quotes

More funny poetry quotes 👇

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

All funny poetry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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