55 Funny pretty quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's got the crucial role of head chew-sician 🍬😂 Who knew chewing could be a full-time gig at a coworking space! Bet his job title is "Chief Chewing Officer." 😋👨‍💼 #LivingTheDream

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the perfect crime – burying a dead body among the endless sea of unread articles and forgotten tabs! 👀💻 Just make sure you don't accidentally close that tab when you're deep into the article… 🚫🔍 #TechSavvyMurderMystery"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

  Commentary:
  Donuts and acoustic guitars both have holes, but you won't find sprinkles on a guitar… unless you've been practicing with a sweet tooth! 🎸🍩 Just remember, one sounds better with strumming while the other sounds better with munching! 🎶🤣

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

  Commentary:
  🐰👗 "Thanks to Bugs Bunny, I've learned that in tough situations, I don't have to stick to fight or flight – I can always channel my inner pretty lady and sashay my way out of trouble! Who knew a cartoon rabbit could be such a fashion icon and a role model all in one? 💃🏼💁🏻‍♀️"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

  Commentary:
  "Plot twist: Turns out the rest of the world didn't get the apocalypse memo and is just casually sipping lattes and scrolling through memes while Australia is battling desert bandits. 🌏☕️😂 #MadMaxRealityCheck"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

  Commentary:
  🌊🦑🐟🌿 "Shoutout to our amazing ancestors for making that epic transition from sea-dwellers to land conquerors! 🙌🏼 But hey, maybe they just got a little too comfortable on land and forgot they had an ocean to run back to? 😂🚶🏽‍♂️🌊 #EvolutionGoneWild"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, so that's why our jokes are out of this world! 🚀👽 Who knew the aliens were tuning in for our comic relief? Time to start prepping for our intergalactic stand-up tour!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your doctor is speaking in code – with a side of humor! 🌮🍟 Who can resist the siren call of Taco Bell over the golden arches? You're on your way to a healthier diet, one crunchy taco at a time! 🌮🤣 #TacoTuesdayGoals

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

  Commentary:
  "Feeling like the middle child of social media 🤷‍♂️ Stranded in the land of WhatsApp status, where our posts quietly whisper 'I'm here too, guys!' 😅 Maybe we're just too cool for the other platforms? 😎 #WhatsAppWarrior"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

  Commentary:
  "Sure, you can be the speaker! Just remember, the key is to talk a lot without really saying anything… Like a politician on double speed! 🗣️💬😄"

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