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172 Funny relationships quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of teamwork! Who knew that setting your life on fire could be a joint effort? 🔥👫 Just like Bonnie and Clyde, but with more emotional baggage… and less bank heists. 💔😅"
5 months ago
Share →: “My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Commentary:
"Looks like the herd is strictly monochrome 🐑😂! Who needs a black sheep when you've got a flock of avoidant eye-contact experts? 👀🚫 "
5 months ago
Share →: Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Commentary:
"Ah, just like clouds, some people bring nothing but shade and rain into our lives ☁️☔️ Good riddance to those stormy souls! 😂 #ClearSkiesAhead"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Commentary:
"Who needs love when you can have an unlimited supply of ice cream instead? 🍦😂 Just think of all the heartbreak you'll save yourself from! #TeamIceCream"
5 months ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Commentary:
"Who needs liquid courage when you have a permanent residence in Regretsville? 🙈📱 No alcohol required for this wild ride of embarrassing texts! Just pure, unfiltered shame delivered straight to your inbox. Cheers to that sober regret! 🍷😅"
5 months ago
Share →: If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Commentary:
"Remember, life is too short to chase people who don't make an effort to be in your life. 🕒✂️ Surround yourself with those who value your time like it's a limited edition snack – available for a good time, not a long time! 🍿😄"
5 months ago
Share →: To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Commentary:
Oh, the audacity! 🙊💁‍♂️ It takes talent to turn a "sorry" into a "you deserved it." Maybe we should all start taking notes on this one! 😂📝 #SavageSincerity
5 months ago
Share →: If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Commentary:
"Warning: Once you're in my life, you're either holding a special place in my heart or simply providing me with a good cheesy fix… 🧀💕 Choose your role wisely! 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "offer-help-then-get-actual-work" maneuver – a true art form in the realm of subtle rejection! 🎭 It's like extending a hand in friendship and getting a high-five in return. 🖐️ Oh, the joy of lending a hand only to have it gently declined! 😅 #JustMyLuck
5 months ago
Share →: Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Commentary:
"Who knew relationships could come with a syllabus? 📚🤓 Maybe it's time to apply for that 'Advanced heartbreak' course and earn yourself a PhD in Dating Drama! 😂 #RelationshipScholar"