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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

19 minutes ago

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Spotted on Instagram:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Going viral on Discord:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Breaking via X:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Making waves on Instagram:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Home » Funny Running Quotes

73 Funny running quotes

Funny running quotes 🏃‍♂️😂 are the perfect way to add a dash of humor to your daily jogs or marathon training! Whether you’re the type who sprints for snacks 🍪 or jogs just to enjoy more post-run naps 💤, these witty words will keep you smiling mile after mile. Lace up your shoes 👟, hit the track, and let laughter fuel your stride. After all, giggles burn calories too! 🤣🏅

New funny running quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Commentary:
Swinging that spatula like it's a legendary hammer in a kitchen forge! 🔨🔥😂
1 week ago
Share →: Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Commentary:
I think the endorphins are just bribing us to forget the pain! 🏃‍♂️🤣
1 week ago
Share →: I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Commentary:
Guess my master plan to avoid jogging just leaked! 🤦‍♂️🏃‍♂️💨
1 week ago
Share →: Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Commentary:
Running away from responsibilities: the only cardio routine that requires zero commitment! 🏃‍♂️💨🙃
2 weeks ago
Share →: I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Commentary:
Sauntering into the weekend like a boss while the heroes are out of breath. Darth Vader taught me well 😎🦹‍♂️👟
2 weeks ago
Share →: About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Commentary:
Attempting to outrun poor personality traits one stride at a time 🏃‍♀️💨 or maybe just sprinting to the fridge instead 😂🍕
2 weeks ago
Share →: If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Commentary:
When your personality is priced like a designer purse, not a bargain bin! 👜😎✨
2 weeks ago
Share →: If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Commentary:
That forest better be toddler-proof! 🌲😂🌛
3 weeks ago
Share →: Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Commentary:
Sounds like the only race where a suitcase doubles as a personal trainer! 🏃‍♀️✈️💼
3 weeks ago
Share →: Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Commentary:
Guess I'll start practicing my on-the-spot treadmill skills for ghost season! 👻🏃‍♂️😂

For even more funny running quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny running quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

19 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Spotted on Messenger:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Seen just now on Slack:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Seen just now on Discord:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Seen just now on Slack:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Just shared via Slack:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Making waves on TikTok:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Going viral on X:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

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