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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Seen just now on X:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Breaking via Slack:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Breaking via Threads:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Freshly posted on X:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Trending via Discord:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Spotted on Telegram:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Trending via Snapchat:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Breaking via WeChat:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Funny sad story quotes

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All funny sad story quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Slack this month:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Seen just now on Discord:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Trending via Instagram:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Shared recently on Facebook:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Making waves on Facebook:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Going viral on X:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

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