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70 Funny same quotes

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  • I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

    Commentary:
    “Communication is like a rollercoaster ride with me – buckle up and hold on tight because even I don’t know where this sentence is going! 🎢😂 Let’s embark on this wild linguistic journey together, discovering the meaning as it unfolds! 🤔🎉”

  • Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

    Commentary:
    “Believing the bodega owner likes you is as misguided as thinking the stripper is interested in your personality. 🤣💵 Let’s be real, they both just want your money, darling! 💸 #RealityCheck”

  • If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

    Commentary:
    Ah, the eternal mystery of the dating world 🕵️‍♂️🤔 Perhaps it’s because women are searching for that elusive diamond in the rough 💎 or maybe they’re just enjoying the buffet of options 🍽️🍷 One thing’s for sure, it’s all part of the fun and games of love and romance! 💘😄

  • I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

    Commentary:
    “Looks like God got tired of multitasking and thought, why not test two birds with one stone? 🕊️🪶 Bet He didn’t expect us to team up and make a party out of it! 🎉 Let’s show Him what teamwork really looks like! 💪😄”

  • After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

    Commentary:
    “Welcome to ‘Sloppy Saucers with Chef Tipsy’ – where the dishes aren’t the only ones getting cleaned! 🍸🍽️ Get ready for a ‘spirited’ display of suds and spills as we navigate this tipsy cleanup adventure together! 🥴✨ #CheersToCleanliness”

  • I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

    Commentary:
    “Ah yes, the classic magic trick of squeezing into those post-Thanksgiving jeans 🦃✨ Who needs a sawing-in-half illusion when you can experience the real magic of stretch denim! 🎩👖😄”

  • Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

    Commentary:
    “Canadians are so dedicated to gravy, they have a whole separate day just to celebrate it! 🇨🇦🍗 Who needs a specific Thanksgiving day when you can have gravy with a side of turkey any day of the year? 😂 #GravyLoversUnite”

  • If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, bless you and your loud sneezes that echo across the hemisphere like a symphony of nasal fanfare! 🤧🌍 Looks like you’ve got the globe covered with your sneeze game – world domination, one achoo at a time! 😂”

    Fun Fact or Trivia:
    Did you know that the average person’s sneeze travels at a speed of about 100 miles per hour? 🤧💨

  • My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

    Commentary:
    “Waiting for karma like 🙏, but keeping kickboxing on standby for those extra challenging moments like 💪🥊. Who knew life advice could come with a side of self-defense? 😄”

  • My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone took the phrase ‘going out with a bang’ a bit too literally! 🤠🎉 It seems the rodeo life had its ups and downs, but hey, at least you got the full experience in one go! 🤣🐎 #OneAndDone”

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