105 Funny same quotes

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like it's time to caffeinate and captivate! ☕😉 #EverydayGoals"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

  Commentary:
  "Driver's license: issued 🚗, sanity: revoked 🎶😂 #DJOnRepeat #SoloJams"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

  Commentary:
  "When your celibacy game reaches mantis shrimp levels. Who knew celibacy could unlock new shades like blorange and gurple? 😆🌈🔍 #ColorSpectrumGoals"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

  Commentary:
  "Story of my life: Mastering the art of time travel, yet somehow still missing the plot! 📱🔄🎥😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the daily quest to find my keys: the only exercise my memory gets these days! 🗝️🤔🔍 Late, but with style!"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

  Commentary:
  "When your doctor levels up to a boss battle and you decide to join the team! 😂🧤👨‍⚕️ #DoctorVsPatient"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

  Commentary:
  "Ready for summer! Just add sweat and you've got a complete transformation! 😅💦🍹"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

  Commentary:
  "Clearly, the universe didn't get my memo 😂🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️📄 #PersonalSpaceMission"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Honestly, I'll fetch the remote if it means getting some 'Who's a good girl?' vibes. 🐶😂💕"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we're gonna need a timeshare agreement for the swing pushes! 😆⏳🎡"

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