79 Funny same quotes

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  5 months ago

  View →: My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.
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  5 months ago

  View →: The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.
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  5 months ago

  View →: When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.
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  5 months ago

  View →: The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!
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  5 months ago

  View →: King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.
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  5 months ago

  View →: By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

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