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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2431 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,593

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,593

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Reported on Facebook:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I wish I had a friend like me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2431 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,593

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,593

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Reported on WeChat:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Live now on Instagram:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Spotted on Slack:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Trending via Reddit:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Trending via TikTok:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

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