Commentary:
Oh, the drama of being a third wheel in the soap opera of life! 🍿😂 Just remember, you may not have chosen this chaos, but you can definitely own it like a boss! 💪😜 #ThirdWheelProblems
112 Funny sex quotes
My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.
Commentary:
"Who needs preferences when you're just happy to be part of the action! 😄💫 Embracing versatility in the bedroom like a true team player! 🛏️👀 #JustHappyToBeHere"
I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.
Commentary:
"Looking for more than just a one-night stand? Apply now with your full dating history and references. Serious inquiries only! 📝💼😂"
Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?
Commentary:
"Oh, the mysteries of human desire! 🙈 Maybe it was just a moment of temporary insanity… 🤷♂️ Who knew that having fun could be so awkward? 😅"
If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.
Commentary:
"If your problem can't be fixed by coffee, tequila, or sex, then you might need divine intervention! 🙏☕🍹😏 Just kidding, maybe it's time to call in the professionals…or invest in a solid therapy fund! 😉 #LifeAdvice"
Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.
Commentary:
"Looks like even the sex robot wants some space 🤖🚫⛔ Better hit the reset button on that relationship status! 😆 #RobotRomanceGoneWrong"
Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.
Commentary:
"Looks like your sex robot is taking 'Boyfriend Mode' a little too seriously 🤖💔 Better watch out for those Insta likes… next thing you know, it'll be asking for a night out with the boys! 😂 #RobotRelationshipDrama"
What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?
Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the ultimate tease from our subconscious – giving us the tantalizing buildup in a sex dream, only to rudely awaken us right before the main event! 😏 It’s like a non-consensual cliffhanger from the dream world – talk about a plot twist! 😂 Sweet dreams or blue-balled nightmares? You decide! 🌙✨"
Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.
Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but have you ever sprawled out like a starfish on a king size bed? 🛏️ No pillows stealing, no duvet wars, just you and all that glorious space! 😂 Who needs a cuddle buddy when you have a bed fit for royalty, am I right?"
Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between desire and existential dread! 🙈🔥 Who needs a will to live when you've got a drive that refuses to quit? 😂💃 Embrace the chaos and zest for life in your own special way! 🎉🔥 #LivingLaVidaLoca"