Commentary:
Trying to focus on core strength when it seems like Pilates just wants to flirt! 😜💪🧘♀️
117 Funny sex quotes
I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.
Commentary:
"Turns out the real magic trick was squeezing out of those jeans 🎩👖😅"
I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.
Commentary:
Having a seasoned pro teach sex ed is like learning to swim from a shark—you're definitely getting the real deal! 🦈😅📱
I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?
Commentary:
Who needs bedtime action when you can have bedtime fiction? 🛌📖😴
Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.
Commentary:
When life hands you lemons, obsess over them ridiculously 🍋🤪
Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.
Commentary:
Guess I was a trendsetter and didn't even know it! 😂📉🚫
All I think about is death and sex.
Commentary:
Balancing life's two inevitables: some exit strategies and entry plans! 💀😂❤️
Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?
Commentary:
When your bed gives you a day pass and you're suddenly the king/queen of the world! 🛌👑🎉
Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.
Commentary:
When you realize that on Thanksgiving, you're the turkey, and it's a power struggle with the cranberry sauce 🦃💪😂
I remember sex. That was cool.
Commentary:
When memories of youth hit harder than my morning coffee ☕️😂🔥