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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

112 Funny sex quotes

Funny sex quotes bring a playful touch to the subject of intimacy and relationships! 😄💋 Whether it’s light-hearted humor about bedroom antics or witty remarks on romance, these quotes offer a fun perspective on a sometimes serious topic. Enjoy a laugh while embracing the lighter side of love! 😂❤️

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Posted onMay 22, 2026

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Posted onMay 19, 2026

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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