Commentary:
Guess I was a trendsetter and didn't even know it! 😂📉🚫
112 Funny sex quotes
All I think about is death and sex.
Commentary:
Balancing life's two inevitables: some exit strategies and entry plans! 💀😂❤️
Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?
Commentary:
When your bed gives you a day pass and you're suddenly the king/queen of the world! 🛌👑🎉
Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.
Commentary:
When you realize that on Thanksgiving, you're the turkey, and it's a power struggle with the cranberry sauce 🦃💪😂
I remember sex. That was cool.
Commentary:
When memories of youth hit harder than my morning coffee ☕️😂🔥
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?
Commentary:
Sex is fun, but nothing beats the thrill of slamming your laptop shut after conquering tab city 🎉📚💻
The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.
Commentary:
Putting the sexy in spectacles—watch out, things are about to get blurry! 🤓🔥🚫
Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.
Commentary:
Who knew changing the scenery could make the same ol' dance so much fancier? 💃🕺🏨✨
I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?
Commentary:
When you realize holding onto the corner of a fitted sheet is the most committed relationship you’ve ever been in 😂🛏️
Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.
Commentary:
Love-hate relationships: translating emotional turmoil into cardio! 😂❤️🔥 #MixedSignals