Funny sexual quotes

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

  Commentary:
  "When multitasking means hiding the chin and changing the view! 🤠😂 #DoubleChinMagic"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

  👇

  Commentary:
  "When they finally have a brunch together, the universe might implode from the awkward silence. 🌈🥐😅"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

  Commentary:
  "Guess it's time to learn puppy love all over again! 🐶😂 #BarkInsteadOfBite"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic love story of me and ghosting. 🕵️‍♂️💨 Who needs romance when you can have mystery, right? 👻 #RelationshipGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

  Commentary:
  "If only our wishes had monetary value! 😂 Imagine the joy of being rich and literally **showered** in cash, but hey, maybe being left alone afterward is the real treasure 🤑💸 #FantasyGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the sizzling affair between me and a cup of joe, brewing up motivation and temptation at the office ☕️💼 Who knew workplace rendezvous could be so steamy? 😉 #CoffeeLove"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like a classic case of 'Bi-yourself' – the ultimate dilemma of being attracted to both men and women, but ending up with no one interested in return! 😅💔 Remember, it's better to be 'Bi-yourself' than to compromise who you are for anyone else! 🌈 #LoveYourself"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this person is on the slow-burn romance program! 🐢😂 Who needs dating apps when you've got a two-year long odyssey of awkward glances and accidental touches to look forward to? 🙈💘 #TakingItSlowAndSteady"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to quit sexual innuendos? That's a hard task indeed! 😏 Stay strong, we believe in you… or do we? 😉 #InnuendoOverload"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to judge based on superficial criteria when you can simply judge people for their bad behavior? It's like skipping the appetizer and going straight for the main course of judgment! 🙅‍♂️🌈 Just say no to discrimination and yes to calling out bad behavior wherever you see it! 💁‍♀️"

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